But you can always turn out to be unavailable around Thanksgiving, or find alternative outings that do not include spouses. Let Miss Manners clear this up: You can't. Your dilemma is that you do not know how to get away with it - in other words, how to do it without giving offense and possibly severing the relationship. GENTLE READER: Your dilemma is not that you do not know how to tell your friend it is no fun vacationing with her anymore. She and I have been friends for 30 years, long before our husbands were ever in the picture, and she is a treasured friend that I don't want to lose. My dilemma is that I don't know how to tell my friend that it is no fun to go on vacations with them and that we will not be traveling with them this year. Her husband can be very insensitive to other people. It was a long, tense dinner at an expensive restaurant. They fought constantly, trading insults at one point, the wife was so upset that she left the restaurant right after we had all ordered food. This past Thanksgiving, we rented a house with them for a week. We live in different states, so we don't see them that often. (Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, to her email, or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.) View CommentsĭEAR MISS MANNERS: We have friends, a married couple, with whom we have vacationed on several occasions. "Did you get it? What did you think? Isn't it funny that I found it after all these years? Do you remember that trip?" Etiquette has no objection to your using any one of these questions - or all four, so long as they are part of a single, breathless inquiry.īut do omit the part about checking the tracking, which, though perfectly rational, tends to raise the hairs on the back of one's neck. GENTLE READER: Your discomfort cannot be because it would be unmannerly, Miss Manners' area of expertise. I feel uncomfortable asking him if he received a package from me. I thought perhaps he was out of town when it was delivered, but it's been three weeks. We continue to text weekly, but he has not mentioned it. I mailed it to him and, via tracking, I know that it was delivered to the correct address. When I was going through some old things, I came across a memento of our time together. View CommentsĭEAR MISS MANNERS: A dear college friend and I text one to two times a week. "I injured my hand," can be repeated, without rancor or even inflection, as many times as even the nosiest person can ask. GENTLE READER: Just as you need not satisfy their curiosity at the expense of your own privacy, you are under no obligation to provide such people with variety. Can Miss Manners please help me come up with a better response? Quit being nosy" is what I feel like saying (but wouldn't). I am at a loss as to how to respond to their rude question without resorting to rudeness myself. But some people then continue to press for specifics. I usually respond with a terse "I had an accident" or "I injured my hand" and leave it at that. I find it very rude and invasive, and why would strangers want to know my medical history, anyway? Since my accident, I have literally not left the house a single time without at least one person asking me what happened. DEAR MISS MANNERS: I suffered an injury that resulted in the necessity of several surgeries and a large cast on my hand for a period of several months (and counting).
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